Sara; We had antics at the hospital again today?

Julie; It’s a full moon honey, that’s why? Get yourself a ‘whine’ on the rocks. you’ve earn’t that one this week.

Chrystal; What do you mean by the full moon?

Julie; The patients tend to go a little erratic. It’s all connected to the moon, you know lunar cycles, an all that.

Sara; That’s how it got the name lunatic asylum!

Chrystal; Really!!!

Sara; It Sound’s like something out of a movie, like werewolves howling at the moon?

Julie; Honestly, we’re all connected to the moon, women’s cycles run on a 28-day cycle, the moon phases all run on 7-day phases, completing at 28 days. I know the theory sounds completely bonkers, but it’s true. I always try and book a day off around the full moon when I worked on the wards.

Billy; The feminine is innately emotional which corresponds to the moon and the cycles?

Julie; Do you know right, I am always explaining this to parents when their kids get a bit hypo and out of sorts. I explain to them the moon theory and they look at me like I’m crazy. It’s true, honestly. Look at how women behave when they have a period, it’s exactly the same on the mental health wards. I always used to move my shifts when there’s a full moon at the hospital!

Sara; Wise move Julie, I think I’ll plan that for next month’s shifts! OMG, it’s so busy and you’re on your feet constantly. The alarms are going off all the time around a full moon. It’s so tiring too. You can forget tea break or lunch! You start to sit down to write up the notes and boom the buzzers are off again. Off you go, running to the emergency!

Chrystal; I never thought of it like that, does it get quite volatile then.

Julie; It’s complicated….. when there’s a full moon yes, otherwise, it’s a different day every day!

Billy; We connect powerfully with the moon you know. We sail with the tide, and for women, it’s almost impossible to fight against it. In just the same way the solar and lunar tides are energy phases that can also work for or against us – all according to how we use them.

Julie; Yeah, that sounds spot on Billy, what else can you share about it?

Billy; The phases align with the waxing and waning of the moon, and the turn of the seasons as the earth moves around the sun. Plant growth is stimulated on a waxing moon, and slows down as it wanes. The Moon governs the movement of the tides, and is also recognised as having a significant affect on our emotions, – particularly in women.

Sara; I’ll toast to that fact!!

Billy; Some ancient religions advocated that, if new ventures were started on a waxing Moon, they were more likely to succeed. The waxing of the Sun begins in March on the lst day of Spring and, although we may not realise it, the Sun has a much more dominant and long lasting affect on our lives, and ventures begun at that time are deemed by some to be the most productive. It is really rather silly that we call the 1st January the New Year, for it falls on the ‘darker side’ of the Sun, so maybe this explains why so many of our present day New Year resolutions seem doomed to failure?

Juile; There’s a season for everything – a correct time to sow ‘waxing’ and a correct time to reap ‘waning’.

Billy, Yes. I think it would help us considerably to be more aware of these ‘tides’, so that we don’t waste energy by fighting against the natural order of time.

Julie; YEAH. Anything can happen. No two days are the same on these wards, some days can be quite calm but others, OMG, they’re exhausting! Anyway, what happened today

Chrystal; C’mon sweetie, offload here.

Sara; It was a fire.

Julie; Oh don’t do this to me Sara, I’m gutted I missed it, lol…… anyway, how many firemen?

Sara; Well it was only a little fire, and three firemen turned up… Well, the fire truck was this half-sized van, I said to the ward manager, look at that truck, if this place was up in flames, that thing wouldn’t be of much use would it?

Billy; What do you mean, a half truck? What’s one of them?

Sara; Like a small van.

Chrystal; I’ve never seen one of them before? Was it red  shiny and obvious?

Sara; No, it was small and black with small writing on the bottom at the back, you wouldn’t have known it was a fire truck, honestly. You needed glasses to read the writing on the back bumper.

Julie; They’re cutting the services down ain’t they. bloody hell. whatever next?

Chrystal; Where was the fire!

Sara; In the attic?

Julie; How did the kids get up there? Actually. Forget I said that, they’re really creative with their methods, go on. how bad was it?

Sara; Well you’ll be shocked at this one. As it wasn’t the kids fire-starting. It was a light that blew in the attic, it caught fire on one of the boxes that were stored, and set alight, started the alarms off.

Chrystal; So it wasn’t a big fire then.

Sara; No. But it could have been, and the tiny little van wouldn’t have stopped any inferno. I still can’t get my head around the small fire van.

Julie; And the yellow trousers have gone an all! It’s black outfit now. I’ll have to update Matt’s wardrobe! Blimey, everything is going micro these days. Micromanagers, micro handbags, microchips, micro pants…  it’s the new buzzword!

Sara; I know, I don’t like micro. I like macro…. maximum…. big and fat…and large….

Billy; Sounds like the full moon’s had an effect on ya bab!

Sara; Am I coming across as pissed off? Am I crazy??

Julie; No, of course you’re not. It’s quite normal, we all have those crazy days! Anyway, listen to your self talk!

Sara; What do you mean?

Julie; Well imagine your standing in front of a mirror, and you just said Am I crazy. Say it backwards, as its self talk?

Sara; Crazy I am?…. I don’t get it?

Billy; I am that, I am, it’s self talk?

Sara; OMG… I never noticed that, blimey the things we tell ourselves, can be really negative can’t it?

Julie; Yep.

Sara; Oh wow, I need to be more careful in what I’m saying!

Billy; Oh don’t be so hard on yourself honey. It’s a stressful job.

Chrystal; Yeah, don’t apologize Sara.

Chrystal; Oh Julie, I used the cue cards this week.

Julie; Ooo, go on chrystal, tell us your version of the game honey!

Chrystal; Well Brandon has been treating me like glass, you know, new mum and all that. So I did the music game, using Madonna!

Julie; Get in there girlfriend!  Give us the long version!

Chrystal: Well, first I sent the four cue cards and said, Babe, I want to play mums and dads and have mums and dads fun. Tonight babe, my mother is babysitting, the house is all ours. Then I sent Madonna’s ‘like a virgin’ lyrics first, just to test the waters. I jigged them up a bit to get the flava going!

I made it through the Labour pain
Somehow I made it through
Didn’t know how hard it was
So glad I had you
I was beat
and my stitches made me sore and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel….

I stopped it there and waited for his response and he sent. I know babe, you did really well and I’m so proud of you.

So I said; Want to make me Purr. I want to Puuurrr just for you!

He sent back; Has the nurse said it’s ok? I mean, I know what you went through and it was pretty tough. I just want to make sure your ready for sex again. Are you sure you feel up to it?

I sent some more of the lyrics.

Like a virgin, hey
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
With your heartbeat
Next to mine

He finally cottoned on to the game and sent back John Lennon ‘Woman’;

Woman I can hardly express
My mixed emotions and my thoughtlessness
After all I’m forever in your debt
And woman I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success

So I sent Madonna – Hanky Panky

Some girls, they like candy, and others, they like to grind,
I’ll settle for the back of your hand somewhere on my behind.
Treat me like I’m a bad girl, even when I’m being good to you,
I don’t want you to thank me, you can just spank me.
Some guys like to sweet talk, and others, they like to tease,
Tie my hands behind my back and, oh, I’m in ecstasy.
Don’t slobber me with kisses, I can get that from my sisters,
Before I get too cranky, you better
Like hanky panky!

He sent me; Marvin Gaye

I know you know what I been dreamin’ of, don’t you baby?
My whole body makes that feelin’ of love, I’m happy
I ain’t gonna worry, no I ain’t gonna push
I won’t push you baby, woo
Come on, come on, come on, come on darling
Stop beatin’ round the bush, hey
Oh, gonna get it on, threatin’ you, baby
I wanna get it on
You don’t have to worry that it’s wrong
If the spirit moves you
Let me groove you good
Let your come down
Oh, get it on, come on baby
Do you know the meaning?
I’ve been sanctified, hey
Girl, you give me good feeling
So good somethin’ like sanctified

Then he walked through the door, we eyes each other across the kitchen and BANG, it was all systems go!

Sara; Go on girl, glad you got serviced finally.

Julie; Oh yes, those hanky panky lyrics have really inspired me, I’m sending that to Matt now.  I best remind him about the Purr, Ggrrrr or the Rooaaarrr as it’s a full moon!!!


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